Professional Stalker

My name is Chris Lengquist. I spent nine years as a process server and private investigator in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia. From 1987 to 1995, I knocked on doors people didn't want knocked on, followed people who didn't want to be followed, and documented things people desperately wanted kept quiet.

Then I moved to Kansas City, picked up a real estate license, and spent the next twenty-five years doing essentially the same thing: reading people, finding the truth buried underneath what they were telling me, and trying to do right by my clients.

I've been telling these stories to friends for thirty years. They kept saying, "Write it down." I finally did.

This is the Behavioral Detective. True stories from my investigative past, and fiction close enough to real life to make you wonder. Don't worry, I'll let you know which is which. 

Connect with the Inner Circle:

• Read more stories: ProcessServerChronicles.com
• Join the community: Detective’s Lounge Facebook Group
• Coming This Fall: Notice of Assignment, the first Cal Brink novella.

Disclaimer: This production is for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute legal or professional advice. Names and details have been altered for privacy.

Transcript

Speaker 0:13

Nine years as a DC private investigator, twenty-five years in real estate, a lifetime of reading people who didn't know they were being read. I'm Chris Lengquist, and this is the Behavioral Detective, the podcast wing of the Process Server Chronicles and the Cal Brink case files. True stories, crime fiction, and everything in between. Let's get into today's podcast. Here's an inside look on what it looks like and feels like to be a process server and a private investigator. Professional Stalker, the experiences of a former private investigator and process server. I've seen the same shows you've seen, read the same books you've read, where the police or the private investigator conducts a surveillance, an old-fashioned stakeout, and frankly, they look kind of cool. Admittedly, there is a certain thrill we attach to honorably be watching someone to catch them doing something they probably shouldn't be doing. When I was a new investigator and process server, the thrill was the mindset I had. But after having been a part of countless surveillance situations, let me tell you what I learned. Professional stalker. First, and there's no way around this, I was a professional stalker. I was there to watch people at the intersection of their public and private lives. Think about it. If you give it long enough, can anyone's life stand up to that kind of scrutiny? Human beings are complicated. We often have relationships with people or food or interests that we know are bad for us, and we do it anyway. In our society, we look down on stalkers and we send them to jail when we can. Yet, perfectly normal people in our modern world think nothing of clicking down one too many links on someone else's life. Oh, look at their vacation. Followed by, where was that? Followed by, who is that with them? Click. Followed by, well, where do they live? Click. It's the same surveillance behavior, albeit more curated, volunteered, and socially acceptable. Expected even. But still. Face it, social media fills a certain voyeuristic need. My body has needs. Watch any cop on surveillance on any screen and we will see him or her drinking bad coffee and eating some cheap food. Let me tell you about that. It only takes one surveillance to learn that you don't eat or drink during a stakeout. If you do, unless you have the bladder of a camel, you will need to use the restroom sooner or later. We either need to carry a bladder bottle with us and hopefully disinfectant wipes, or get out of the car and pee on a tree, not usually reasonable in a suburban neighborhood. Or leave the scene while hoping your subject doesn't move on without you. That's not something you want to explain to your client. Maybe I'm oversharing, but I have decreased kidney function, and I have known that since I was in my mid-40s. Did it have anything to do with sitting in a hot and humid car in Washington, DC summers without drinking enough to stay hydrated? Because twenty-something me thought it was better than having to leave and find a bathroom? I don't know. But I suspect. Correlation and causation are not necessarily the same. But you do the math. Because 61-year-old me does it every day. Basic surveillance skills. I spent a number of years as a professional photographer. In fact, those years overlapped the end of my process server career and the beginning of my real estate career. That's because I was taught how to use a camera with long lenses and high-speed film to take pictures of people doing things they shouldn't be doing. See how this works? Then there is the skill of documentation. When you sit in a witness box next to a judge with dozens of faces staring right at you, answering a question under oath, which I have done many times, you are more believable if you have notes. For example, 7 16 p.m. AAS arrived at the scene. 7 33 p.m. SLIF. Subject left, I followed. 8 01 p.m. A arrived at Wilson's nightclub. 8 11 p.m. Viewed making contact with woman. Brunette, 5'4, 115 pounds. 9 22 p.m. Followed to a local hotel. Judges and juries love handwritten notes. Attorneys for the defendant, not so much. Be charming and then be gone. Do enough surveillance work and you will be made. We don't usually get to see this in the movies or hear it in the notes of your favorite true crime podcast. I've talked to a dozen cops about my right to be here, showed my PI license, and then moved on anyway. Because once you are burned, you are burned. Surveillance is expensive to the client, and there's no sense in sticking around to anonymously observe if the local nosy neighbor has announced to the entire neighborhood that you are there by having sent in the police. Don't think that really happens or couldn't happen to your favorite private investigator on television? Think again. Romance versus reality. I loved being a private investigator and process server. It was exciting. And I've been telling stories about my experiences for going on 40 years. I also hated being a PI because watching people takes a toll. Ever rung on a doorbell with exceedingly bad financial news, a summons that will allow a lawyer to crawl way up inside your finances. And find that the person who opens the door is someone you see on a regular basis? It's awkward. But that's the actual job. Well, that's it for today. If this is your first time here, go back and start at Case File 1. Trust me, it's worth the trip. If you want more truish stories from the Process Server Chronicles or fiction from the Cal Brink Case Files, well, they're waiting for you over at ProcessServer Chronicles.com. See the show notes. And coming this fall, notice of assignment, Cal Brink's first novella, a real estate investment purchase gone bad. I'm Chris Lengquist. Thanks for listening. This is a Chris Wright's LLC publication. Not legal advice, not professional guidance, do not imitate tactics. Fictionalized, composite, altered details, plus no identification intended. You can read the full legalese on the website.